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> Approval
“Care about people's approval and you will be their prisoner.” These words of caution were dispensed around 600 B.C. by the Taoist philosopher Laozi and are no less apt today. Seeking approval is a very human tendency against which we all need to guard.
In business, we sometimes forget that respect is much more important than approval. There is a child inside all of us and when someone in authority or influence approves of us, we feel good. Perhaps we made a good decision or hit an important goal. That is human, positive, and understandable.
Unfortunately, approval can also be addictive. In an attempt to get that approval “rush”, some executives find themselves looking for ways to “score points” with those around them. It becomes their single purpose.
While this approval seeking may reduce insecurity, it actually results in a loss of power. External approval becomes the only way to feel good; plans, actions, and decisions become consciously or unconsciously biased towards securing that approval. High stress situations usually make this tendency worse.
Respect is different. Self-respect is about having the internal fortitude to feel good about your leadership, even when others in power positions disagree with you. Respect is about being held in high regard because of your innate abilities, overall track record, and courage. It is paradoxical that when you stop caring about approval, respect often increases.
Approval seeking is normal. It has been with all of us since we were children. Don’t underestimate its allure; it can creep in unnoticed and candor is the only antidote.
By questioning your motivations regarding a given course of action, and testing your true objectives against real business priorities, you can avoid the “approval trap”. You will be ensuring that you can stand behind all of your decisions regardless of what others may think. That is what leadership is all about.
Best regards,
Tim Stratman
Tim Stratman is President of Timbre Executive Coaching, Inc. headquartered in Chicago, Illinois.
To read more about Tim Stratman click here
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